In early December, we had a snowstorm here in Raleigh. In peering out my bedroom window at the pretty woodland scene out back, I noticed that some of the trees were bowed down with the extra weight they were carrying. In particular, my sight was drawn to a small tree that was so weighted, its little face was touching the icy ground. I couldn't help but see myself in this tree, as I've been carrying some grief, sorrow, and struggles that at times have just about crushed me.
A day or two later, I decided to flip to the month of December in my Streams in the Desert devotional, and this is what I read in the entry for the 3rd...
"Ice breaks many a branch, and so I see a great many persons bowed down and crushed by their afflictions. But now and then I meet one that sings in affliction, and then I thank God for my own sake as well as his. There is no such sweet singing as a song in the night."
Let's proceed to early January, when inspired by something swirling through some Idina Menzel holiday songs I was listening to, I wrote a spur-of-the-moment poem and posted it on twitter. In turn, this poem reminded me of my little tree, so I've decided to post it here...
~ ~ ~
I hear a snowstorm blowing
Through this Season of Love
And through this winter
Of our discontent
It draws me into the woods
Where I fall on my knees
In agony
Warm me by
Your fire,
Oh God
And give me peace
~ ~ ~
After posting this poem, I felt a voice tell me that it was a lament, and that it had a lot of psychic tension.
When I read it, I see that frigid temperatures and harsh conditions have announced themselves during the holiday season, which is known for being a warm, happy, and inviting time. I borrowed the phrase, "the winter of our discontent," from Shakespeare, and it serves to further juxtapose this tension between heartache/disillusionment and Christmas joy. Next, I enter the wilderness where, instead of becoming prostrate in joyful adoration of our newborn Savior, I'm overtaken by hard emotions. I then appeal to the Father to give me comfort in His fire--in His painfully purifying one, but also in His overall burning love (of which the refining fire is only a part).
Also after posting the poem, I had the sense that, though it was very heartfelt and serious on my part, the line about me falling on my knees in agony could be taken in an almost humorous way--one that might even make someone laugh, due to its irony and cold and jarring movement. That's when I coined the term 'holarity,' which is a combination of holiness and hilarity.
...And that, my friends, can be a good description of life in general, whether in snow or sunny weather.
Will life ever stop presenting us with this tension between grief and joy, between somberness and laughter bubbling up? Probably not, so I suggest submitting to God as He blows us about as He will.
I, for one, intend to try and stay close to Him in my innermost being, and to feel the warmth of His affection, even while the elements do what they will around me, and the world spins through its various seasons and circumstances. I might not feel like singing overmuch, but I'll rest in the center of His will in holy silence, even if darkness looms around me.
~ ~ ~
*If the term 'holarity,' already exists, well I am unaware of it :)
*After googling 'lament,' I came upon some information about the psalms of lament.
~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~
No comments:
Post a Comment